Friday, September 30, 2005

gt nth better to do,so i took out some things tt i wrote last time. erm... bout 2 or 3 yrs ago. miss those sec sch days. found tt i m actualli feelin unhappy tt time,but compared to now,it is reali nth. n i can feel how naive i were last time. feelin upset bout small small things. n i wrote down things tt impt ppl said. is funny when i read it after 2,3 yrs. many things tt i haf forgotten. n many ppl who r in my life. everyone changed. once i was so concern bout someone,but he juz take mi for granted. n nw he cum back again,onli when he's feelin lonely. i treat him as my best fren,but for him,frens r nt defined tt way. but is ok. he might changed one day.

found a note bk tt i brought back to hk last yr.used to write down things tt he said to me. i can say both of us r so cute last time. i wait for his call everyday,juz to haf a 3 mins chat. everyone think tt we r so sweet. ya.. at tt time. ppl changed. but i m feelin ok when i read thru all tt again. he dunno tt i wrote down everythin he said. but nvm... i m ok...

tis might b e worst yr i had in tis 19 yrs. mayb to some ppl too. but it is juz a sign showin tt a better yr is cuming ahead. we haf no choice but to look forward. if we stick to being depressed over things,we cant get anywhere. depression is reali a scary thing. mental illness? i tried to hlp my fren sufferin from tt,but haha... no use. surprisingly after some scoldin, miracle happen. he recovered. so if u find urself feeelin sad,find ppl to scold u. it works.

" when u find that everythin is going against u, rmb, e airplane takes off against e wind,nt wif it."



Wednesday, September 28, 2005

i m an old lady.
cant believe that i will feel so tired after prelim.
i feel so sick now. sore throat cough n flu.
tired ahh......

today is a long boring day. sch is nth more den boring.
nt tt i like to complain. but sch is reali boring.
to me,i m always in sch wasting my time day dreamin.
nth goes into my mind when i m in sch.
haizzzzzz......BUT...
i finally pass my chem prac. score a B. heh heh...
stil haf a little hope of passing my chem.
as for phy,expected. big big F...argh... phy 'rox'.

last time i did plan to go back to hk if i earn enuff money. but think nt possible le. btw,i wont let ppl to treat me to go for holidays. i wanna depend on myself. haha... i m nt a feminist. but... tis is my yuan zhe. so wait for mi to earn money myself. if anyone wanna go holidays wif me, pls b prepared to get some injuries after takin plane. heh... i gt tis who-i-wanna-sit-with list... e 1st name listed is yellow cis. wahaha... better be careful ah my dear.

my body is askin for a rest. byebye.



Saturday, September 24, 2005

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy.You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts.People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused.But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

Friday, September 23, 2005

prelim is goin to end! one more day.
e next challenge is to face my teacher n parents.
how m i goin to explain e big big F for my phy???
argh....
n how m i goin to improve my phy within tis short period of time.
n get my F to at least a D.
who wanna help me???
sob sob... i dun wanna die...
cos junyang is stil waitin for me to go uni.
oopss....

there's no turnin back.
i muz work hard!!!! hard hard hard...
think tis is e worst yr i had.
but is ok... i read tt horoscope thingy,my luck will b better next yr.
those bad things i wont read.
so ahem... ya... my luck will b good!!

disney land is waitin for me...
haiz... mickey n snow white n my prince...
who wanna donate some money to me?
let me buy a $20 burger n see hw it taste.
hhmmm i juz miss everythin in hk.
my cousin auntie uncle fren... argh...

hey my blog song nice rite?
of cos... i haf gd taste!
haha... enuff of rubbish...
good luck to all ppl taking exams !!
:D




Thursday, September 22, 2005

i changed my song again.
"you're beautiful".
recently i fell in luv wif tis song...
heehee...
so everybody,MUZ turn on ur speaker k?

to see others happy is e greater happiness...
:D



Wednesday, September 21, 2005

i wont believe in ur words.
so many yrs n after so many relationship,
u stil tel mi all tt.
i wont believe.
e real person who is faithful n truthful is nt u.
n such ppl wont tel me all tis.

prelims is goin to end soon.
haiz... dunno wad'll i haf to face after gettin back my results.
n next, is A lvl...
argh... so fast... so fast...
time wont wait for anyone...
junyang... wait for me!

today i m so lucky,went to jurong east to shop but my favourite shop is closed for stockin checkin.
my luck is here again.
n my headache is back again.
haiz... nt enuff rest or too much rest??

i miss hk... my disney land is waitin for mi...






Tuesday, September 20, 2005

someone asked "is those guys nt gd,or u dun wanna open up?".
haha... good qn... i noe e ans myself.
i dunno if i m doin e correct thing.
n i m tryin to open up. stil tryin.
shldnt haf been so nasty to other guys.
my eyes n heart haf no one else but him.
i shld change tis.
i m stil tryin.

i hope u'll read tis.
i hope u noe i m giving u chance.
dun hide anymore. i saw ur nick.
i m touched...
1 yrs plus. n so many things happened.
u r stil there. but if u dun tel mi,i wont noe.
i reali wont. haiz.. i m sorri...
e pain i haf given u is so much more den e pain i m having nw.

if u read tis,sms me...

i gt tis fren of mine. we known each other for 10 yrs plus.
10yrs is nt a short time. til nw we stil write letter to each other altho we can chat using msn.
reason is simple,letter can bring us closer.
true frens wont hurt u wont betray u.
tis is wad i called true frens.
b there for each other. share gd things n nt snatchin anythin from others.
i m lucky to haf tis frens wif mi.
i love u all... :)



Saturday, September 17, 2005

cant believe tt i m already takin my prelim... n my A lvl is cumin in bout 30 somethin days.
everythin seems to b happenin too quickly n i gt no time to finish my revision.
actualli... is cos of myself wasting so much time.
seein one of my male classmates KY went mac to study everyday.
i m so guilty... haiz... so stress...
[yup i saw him everytime i went there BUT i didnt study wif him,i juz study at e same mac tt's all. so huilin... ahem ahem... ]

but i can say. i haf 'luck' tis few days. funny funny luck.
1st day of exam,i gt a qn paper wif more den 5 blank page.
2nd day of exam, my paper was blown off strong wind of e fan. i rise up my hand n ask for hlp. one old old teacher saw mi,but he walk away,wif his eyes stil lookin at mi. he didnt cum to hlp mi or wad. n after 5 mins,someone finally cum to my hlp.
3rd day of exam, my favourite phy. n so lucky,my favourite teacher is collectin papers for my row. n his attitude is like so ahem... snatch my paper n show mi face. eee yuck!

keep thinkin of wad i m goin to do after A lvl.
wanna continue learnin guzheng. tt's my main goal.
wanna take as much exams as possible n mayb becum an instructor.
was thinkin bout e performance at esplanade last yr.
i wanna go there again!

wanna find job to earn more money.
everythin needs money. my guzheng n all e courses tt i m goin to sign up.
lookin forward for tis new stage of life. :)
i m not a kid anymore.



Saturday, September 10, 2005

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

watched tis taiwan drama called "xing yuan".
rebecca can do so much for e guy he loved,but wad did e guy do?
as expected,e guy fall for another ger.
n rebecca tried to do so much,wanted to gain his love.
in e end,everyone hate her for wad she did.
is it fair?
so many yrs of relationship.
altho in e end,he regret.
but in real life?
fairy tales wont happen.

my bday is cumin.but i dun reali care. is nt special anymore.
i stil miss him.
last yr,i had e happiest bday. but after 1yr,everythin is gone.
i m nt sad anymore.
e guy i love is dead. he's totally different from e one i noe last yr.
human r juz so scary. gt influenced without ourselves knowin.
good or bad.it juz depend on how u look at it.
wad's wrong wif being too serious?
get urself hurt again n again.

i m reali touched. thx all cis trans isomers.
n thx to someone who always get scoldin from mi.
nv tot tt he'll go all e way down juz to find e bag i like.
reali thx alot.
it might take yrs for mi to get well,
but i'll try my best.
my luck'll get better.



Monday, September 05, 2005

i love e sun! i m so tanned nw!
went to swim early in e mornin wif my dear cis.
we r gettin luckier!
i chiong e whole day. n after swimmin,headache cum again.
n rain cum too.
but is ok,nv spoil my mood.
i bought a bag at queensway.
nice BIG bag. yup i luv big bag!

bout my bad attitude. i agree tt i m hostile to ppl. esp guys. ya i dislike guys who onli goes for looks. any stranger can tel u tt he like u,without having to noe ur character. looks is all it matters. n e attitude they r having,is to play. play wif others feelings n get to show off their pretty gf in front of others. they r too playful n i m too serious. is hard for mi to be polite to tis ppl. i m like tt. i m too serious. after all those experience,i haf to becum like tis. no joke no nth. i m serious. i think ppl who r readin tis will noe mi. juz wanna voice my opinion here.

prelims cumin. no joke.
study hard n rest more too.
:)
all e best!!!



Saturday, September 03, 2005

i started to think quite alot recently. all those memories.
but haf to face e fact tt,he had died. nt physically. but in my heart.
saw him yday in sch. but e feelin is totally different.
i saw a stranger who looks like him,but dun feel like him.
another cruel fact is tt,he dunno mi anymore.
i m oso a stranger to him.
did i changed? mayb yes... i changed for him.
but tis is still e ending.
"u might think it is gd to him,but he dun think tt way."
tt's true.

im reali afraid of turnin back to look at all those sufferings i had tis few months.
acceptin every unexpected things.
nw den i noe how naive i m tt time.
but stil,i believe in forever.
i believe in happy endin.

being childish is nt wrong.
10 yrs later when u gt to look back,
we'll laugh at wad we did.



Friday, September 02, 2005

is september finally.
i saw her nick. i can guess wad u did behind my back.
u all might say is non of my business.
is reali a joke. i was juz tellin my frens tt i m gettin over it.
wad happen nw? juz cos of a stupid msn nick of hers.
i blame myself for fallin into it too deeply.
but luckily,tis dun hit mi so badly.
e worst part is already gone.

is time for studies.
dun ever cum back n affect mi again.
how long will it b? 1yr or 2 yrs?
i m a failure in e past,but i had learnt my lessons.
tryin nt to b affected.
i wanna b happy.
is september already.



Thursday, September 01, 2005

1.30am.
after today,i slowly feel tt i m moving on.
thx to all my cis trans isomers n family n other frens.
it is a tough experience.
now i dun wanna look back.
but anyway,hope u can b happy too.
i m closin my eyes,n i wont see anythin anymore.
n most imptly,
i hope tt e 3 of us can move on.
i think i m e fastest!
hey dun worri bout mi,i m fine.
"happiness of another person is essential to your own."
u agree wif mi?
:)

xiufen's bday,went to her hse n gif her a big surprise.everythin went on smoothly. glad tt she didnt find out tt we r outside lightin e stupid yellow candle.
went out together for dinner. had a veri veri fun n happy day. but tired.

went to damai tis morning. everythin seems to b e same. rmb all e times when i was stil in damai. fun n fun n fun. reali fun. better den e life in sr. but in sr,i gt to noe all my cis n trans isomers. i love them all. reali!! had a great time wif them today. :D

there is somethin botherin mi.
i m worried. worried bout someone who dunno tt i exist.
wad i can do?
who can tel mi?
but pls... move on. n b happy. exams r cumin.pls dun get affected.

my bday wish is.................