Monday, October 30, 2006

finally finish my work. postcard design. it is horrible! it tooks me about 2 weeks to finish up all the 4 postcard.
一点都不夸张！真是累死人！
而且，因为这个assignment，我觉得我好没用。
我和猫对电脑的东西不熟悉，但是多数的东西都必须用电脑，才能做得完美。
我们都不懂。
今天，我们3人笨笨的。
如果没有少爷和豪哥的帮助，我们会怎么样？
总之，我就是钻牛角尖！
唉！

现在，我并不开心。
互相猜测，一点都不有趣。我好累。
讨厌猜他的一举一动。
累到可能很快又消失了。

maybe i m just too tired.



Sunday, October 29, 2006

今天终于和isomers们meet 了！
看到她们我真的是超开心的。

想起了很多事情。
搭158到实龙岗，再搭地铁到后港。
那一条路，有很多回忆。
在我最不开心的时候，我总是会避开搭80的车站。
宁愿走更多的，都不想看到他。
天天萍都会陪我，我们两总会在后港聊天。
那时我好怕自己一个人。幸好有她。

今天再回到那里，再也没有那种害怕的感觉。
有点怀念，又有点开心。
因为我终于不被以前的他影响。
辛辛苦苦地挨了过去，现在应该是幸福的时候了吧。

isomers们一点也没变，是好事。
很喜欢和她们大声地谈天，无视旁人的存在。
很爱她们的真。无论怎么样，她们都会默默地支持我。
看到她们，我真的好happy!

之后meet group6的几个人去印东西，和吃晚餐。
happy day!

i miss him. hmmmm...



Friday, October 27, 2006

You scored as Art. You should be an Art major! How bohemian! Art 92% English 83% Journalism 75% Sociology 75% Psychology 75% Dance 67% Philosophy 67% Linguistics 67% Mathematics 58% Theater 58% Anthropology 58% Engineering 50% Biology 50% Chemistry 25% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

Thursday, October 26, 2006

昨天我又没回家。太迟了，只能又跑去猫家住。看来她家已成为了我第2个家了。
不过很开心，hannes终于有注意到我的画了。
不知为何，昨天我画的画还真的有了明显的进步。
希望可以保持。

今天很开心。
很难找到更好的形容词。就是开心。
many things that are unexpected are happening. nothing can be explained. but indeed i m happy about it. things are moving on smoothly now. no one will know when will it stops. but at least,we are happy now. what matters is now. surprisingly things change in 10days. i m no longer grasping the air.

now. i hope i m on the right path.
used to.
love the smell of his jacket,his hands,his smile. may be everything...



Tuesday, October 24, 2006

今天发现，一个人专心在做一件事时，都会很吸引人。
认真的人最好看。



Monday, October 23, 2006

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.



Sunday, October 22, 2006

很喜欢人家叫我芝芝。
我是说，某些人。

昨天和group6的几个同学去vivo city, 看了 “death note”.
本来开开心心的，最后又是为了某个人而伤心。
第一次对他说恨话。
还好有朋友在。觉得自己很幸福。
真是不该让他们担心。

之后和猫去sentosa。有些小插曲。

很喜欢那种chill out 的感觉。
大学虽然忙，但还是比jc来的轻松。
加上我是在做我爱的事。


维护着不属于自己的东西其实是很痛苦的。
往前看，有好多好多对我好的朋友。
那才叫幸福和快乐。



Friday, October 20, 2006

Went to the zoo for sketching. Quite a happy day. Hannes say that I made improvement,and I m better in drawing animals than human. Hmmm don’t know if it is a good comment or what. But today was really a fun day. Didn’t know that I can draw moving animals that fast. And my style of drawing is finally getting more loose. :D not so stiff anymore. 最近很忙，但是好充实。

看到一些人，永远觉得每个人都不会有好下场。
更糟的是看不得别人好。总是觉得别人单纯。
单纯的是你。开心的是我们。
如果不改变，永远只会停留在这里。

a hectic week for me. very tiring. stay in mao's house for 2 days.

yesterday was a fun day. we did quite ok for our presentation. minus the out of point things. well we actually feel that it is out of point,but it is quite bad to just erase it. but at least the class pay attention. then went to holland village to do our storyboard. i love my class people. so fun! so united! and there are so many cute people around. after that went back to school for a stupid italian movie. stupid because the subtitle is so messy. can only understand certain part. and i think it is quite disgusting. after that went to mao's house again. because there's no bus or train anymore.
some bad things happen when i went online yesterday. luckily i have mao around. not so affected anymore. not worth it. when i open my eyes,there's really so many nice people around. why do i have to discipline myself and not look at other people? make no sense at all.

finally home today. miss my bed. singapore is not that big,but it is still very troublesome to travel like that everyday. shall not complain,it was my choice. tomorrow going to zoo for foundation drawing! sounds like primary school. :D



Wednesday, October 18, 2006

heyo. i m at mao's house. doing the shitty western art history presentation. it is super shitty. hate it to hell. hai. only got to know about this presentation thingy on monday. and we got to present later. hai. so shittttttyyyyyy.... and yeah many shitty things happen. mao is helping me to edit essay. remember how lyon got frustrated because of my s-thingy. haha it is happening again now. i just hate presentation. i need my sleeeeeeepppppp! :(


may be i just need a good rest.
be happy always :) should learn to love myself more....



Tuesday, October 17, 2006

今天，不是很好的一天。很多事情我都看在眼里。
发现自己变了。以前不会追求那么多。
看到他开心，自己也会开心。
但现在好像不会这么想。
越来越觉得自己不是个好人。
难免会有妒忌心，不开心。

以前，喜欢一个人时，只希望天天能看到他。
看着他开心地笑，自己一整天都会很happy.
喜欢一个人很简单。
无时无刻会想他，看到他时，比中乐透还开心。
他心情差时，你会不自觉地想关心他。
每一分，每一秒都想在他身旁。看似简单。
现在呢？
每天只会担心他会跟哪一个她在一起。
无时无刻让自己为了他而不快乐。
胡思乱想。
以前的我去了那里？

爱看他傻傻地笑，爱听他开玩笑。

it is always better to talk things out. feel so much better. i dont want to be left out. we want to be in it. and i m glad that people can see what i see. i did the right thing at least.
miss him a lot.



Sunday, October 15, 2006

headache again. emotional. and tired. didnt really do much today. because i spent my whole day thinking about some unknown things. ya i dont even know what i m thinking. i m so confused.
some things are not meant to be said here.
what is that feeling?

yesterday was an eventful day. went to jiet's birthday party at sentosa. was quite fun actually, we played amazing race and my group won. and i love sentosa! love the feeling of being together with the whole group of classmates. we played with sand,sea water and many other stuff. mao and me were chatting and suddenly we heard a loud bang and an "AIYAHHH".

下一秒就看到杰杰躺在地上。他笨笨地撞上了那条桥。
我们大家都冲了过去看他，本来他一直说没事，当他起来时，我看到了地上的血。
有人说他流鼻血，可是我看到的血是从他头上流下的。
我吓死了，都不知如何是好。
最后杰杰被送进医院，一切都没事了。

after that went out with mao. we stayed out for the whole night. it was a wonderful night.
过了今天，我更能分辨谁是真心，谁是假好心。
在医院里，我看到了很多。
看到了担心杰杰的人，也看到了无时无刻都想表现的人。
是不是真的关心，大家都看得出来。太明显了。
很假。

回想起来，当我在帮杰杰抹掉他的血时，我看到了他的眼神。
看了我好伤心。可能一切来得太忽然了。开始真的好担心。
心有余悸。
杰杰真的好傻哦！


PS: please dont comment on the things i wrote here. obviously some of you are thinking too much. i m just writing my views/feelings here. and i m always ok. if i m not,i will look for the people that i really need.

why m i thinking about him?



Friday, October 13, 2006

cant stand staying at home. i need to go school and do something. i dont want to stay home and feel so sianz. sianz. sianz............
i hate weekends! hmmmp


i love the grass field on the roof...view is nice...



Thursday, October 12, 2006

Went to see Pete today about my grades. He was not inside the office. So we waited for him outside. Mao fell asleep on the floor. And the 3 of us are like lost kids. Sitting there and chat very loudly. That’s our style. Can sit everywhere. Haha. I was quite surprised with my grades. Got 2 A’s and 1B. I asked him why I got an A. because I thought I did very badly. Honestly I don’t know what I m doing. Always bending wires, moulding clay, cutting papers. And it looks super weird when I look at it. Pete said attitude contributes a lot. And I m quite happy that he can see me working hard. I think I under estimate some things. I thought of biasness, when has become assumption instead. Sometimes people tend to assume something, but it is not totally true. Pete is quite good in judging people. He told the 3 of us, compared to Sam they all, that we don’t seems to accept criticism. But ya that’s not correct. And the 3 of us seems to do the similar things. Which I think is quite true. Honestly, the 3 of us are not as pro as the others. Mainly because we have no art background. It is always hard to catch up, but we are willing to learn. Well… Pete is really deep. He can really understand our characters.

He also talk about bullshitting. Which is very essential to our life. How? I can bullshit a bit. But I m bad in tao hao teachers. Hate biasness. I m just a quiet student who don’t like to talk to teachers. There’s always a gap in between.

I fell asleep in 4D lesson today. Feel very very guilty and bad. I was really tired. Today ken showed us some movies again. And it is damn disgusting! Sometimes I just cant appreciate the beauty of the movies he showed. Can see the passion in his eyes. I just feel very bad that I fell asleep when he is so enthu. Haiz!

This few days keep staying back in school till very late. Today finally finish my literature essay. I hate literature. Just hope that I can pass and don’t have to retake it. Stupid.

Another funny question. Many people call the school of arts, design and media as SADM or ADM. Then how do you pronounce SADM? Sa-dam? Sa-dumb? Or Saddam??? We were talking about it. Mao’s friend asked her if she is studying is SADM (she pronounce it as Saddam ). Mao’s 1st reaction is : hey I m terrorist loh. Then when people ask us what we study in SADM, tell them we learn how to use riffles? I prefer pronounce it as A-D-M. we are not the saddam people. Sounds so weird!

The ADM pond is super disgusting. Dead insects all over. And unknown creatures are swimming inside. What the. It looks nice, but it is very hard to maintain.

yuck i saw captital X. eeeeeek!!!



Wednesday, October 11, 2006

feel quite discouraged today. i did quite badly for my foundation drawing. and meeting pete tomorrow. quite confirm that i will get a low grade. cutie hanjiejie scored B,and i m sure i will get lower marks than him. and i hate one to one meeting teacher. dont know what to say to him. hai.

this week i m feeling super sianz. may be because of the stress. just feel like slacking. who want to accompany me to slack? :(

i never knew that we are like that until today. few minutes ago. i was kind of shocked when my mum told me about it. i told we were ok? i didnt know that for so many years,we are actually facing such problem. and they are working so hard for me and my sis. feel very sad. and abit useless. i m still studying. and they are still working hard for us. without rest without complains. hai. just feel very sad about it. if i knew about it last time,i will at least help out. i dont know it was so bad. hai.



Monday, October 09, 2006

tired! blame myself again. chat with ks to late night yesterday. he is super clever. he know who i m referring to already. and being honest,he asked me to give up on this indecisive fellow. i m trying to. anyway, it has been 3days i think. suddenly think of something :
when u tried hard to forget,actually u are reminding yourself to remember.

actually i love my life now. busy but happy. love what i m doing. and love the people in school. love going to cute's hall. love slacking in class. love listening songs and singing them with mao.

and i miss jc days. although bad things happen. but when we look back,it was so fun! delete away all those unhappy memories. love disturbing the isomers. if i got chance to go back to that time,i will blah blah blah. do many things that i dont have the chance to do. hmmm that's abit of rubbish anyway.

i still prefer to look ahead. dont look back to make myself unhappy. overall i m happy. that's the point.



Sunday, October 08, 2006

not feeling high now. feeling a bit stressed up again. plus abit moody. sometimes cant differentiate what is real and what is fake. so i rather trust my own eyes. dont like people to ask me who i m referring to in my blog. dont ask ok? because it is my opinion and not just aiming a specific person. i usually write about what i think about people,not a person. so ya. if what i said here is offending,then please dont read. it happened many many times and i dont want any trouble. what i think,is actually what i see in a whole picture. not only 1 person. just want to make things clear. dont want people to kill me after reading my views.

i dont like sunday. every sunday is a moody day for me. eeeek. talk to the girls,and feel that usually people tend to change after some time. i mean change to the worse because they are not afraid of losing someone anymore. when there's a problem,they avoid and ignore. then it become worse,and will end up in nowhere. we girls are silly,to be biased. may be guys are too,but they just heck care. suddenly i think of this peer pressure. i can ignore,but can he? he will let go of me. that's the difference between guys and girls.

my ex-tutee 's parent called. she asked me to teach her kid. because she likes my way of teaching. feel so happy when people appreciate what i did. i dont mind teaching him,but sometimes i will feel super sianz. i dont know why.

got to go out and buy art materials again. hai. i spent lots of money in 3D and 2D. hai. sianz.

刚才看了一部叫《疑神疑鬼》的电影，真的觉得精神病好可怕。
妈妈因为受了刺激，而产生幻觉。到最后，还亲手杀了自己的孩子。
她根本不知道自己有思觉失调症。
孩子很无辜，但又无法抵抗。
妈妈住进了精神病院，孩子的灵魂也一直陪着她。
有点悲惨。但以另个角度看，又并非如此。
如果她早点发现自己有病，或如果她身边有人陪着她，结局就不一样了。
真实的情况里，一个人的了精神病，最重要的，是要有人陪伴。
还有，一定要尽早发现。
精神病很可怕。


went to vivo city with my mum. that place is super nice and big.



Friday, October 06, 2006

thurs.
中秋节celebration. went out with the girls again, and stayed over at cute's hall. a very nice night! celebrate at ADM building. my 1st time going up the grass slope, 1st time lying there to look at the moon. love the feeling sooooo much! although there's something unhappy happened,but shouldnt have let it affect our mood. it is hard to tell lies, may be we should show it instead, 不爽就是不爽. i love the girls. they are so understanding! the whole night we were surfing friendster,looking at our ex's pics. they was looking at his profile. i hide behind because i dont want to get affected again. i heard them saying 'oh gosh so ugly...'. haha. not him but her. sounds like very bad right? but i know they want to make me happy by saying I M PRETTIER. wahaha. then i went to sleep 1st. mao and me sleep on the bed and poor cute has to sleep on the floor! feel so bad...

i just hate people who act noble. please i m not a 10years old kid anymore. i have eyes to see,heart to feel. u treat us this way,doesnt mean we like it. we see the processive u. controlling us. we are your friends,not your puppet. i cant stand it. i dont like it. i have to admit,there's a gap between girl friends and guy friends. i wont probably hug every guy friends. i wont do that.
我真的很讨厌做事很故意的人。我们看得出来。
不用讨好我。
直接一点，应该对我们大家都好。



Thursday, October 05, 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7N90PuU_Ck

the 1st part of the video is crap. oops. but after that...wooo it is my dearest BEN! so charming so handsome so cute so cool so lovely so nice. my gosh! :D



Sunday, October 01, 2006

pete organised the biennale outing for us.

friday. meet the isomers. miss them so much!