Thursday, August 31, 2006

most talkative class in ADM

3D design review

not paying attention during literature lecture

2D design

4D design. professor and de cute

'ancient greek' presentation -_-

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

finally it is over. done with the art history presentation,which made me damn stressed up tis few days. 3 presentation in a row. but it is a good experience. presentation is not that scary anymore. cant say i did well for it. and today's foundation drawing really torturing me. dont know why i just cant draw well. may be i m not concentrating. that's what i m sure of.



Monday, August 28, 2006

today is obviously a bad day for me. but i will only allow myself to be sad for one day. one day is enough for everything to change. he choose ex instead of x. what can i say?



Sunday, August 27, 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul6BNepayLI

if ben do this for me,i think i will faint. and love him forever! haha... ben is so cute! love him!



Saturday, August 26, 2006

i was so happy yesterday. met him at boonlay and we went to town for movie. the movie start super late,so we went somewhere to rest. and he bought chocolate for me! :D i m really happy...
i think even if everything remains the same,i will still be happy.

today meet the isomers for dinner. little india for indian food. the food is sooooo nice! and i love the environment. :D

never realise that my birthday is coming soon. all my friends' birthday falls on august and september. and it will be my turn soon. but dont really look forward to it. why? why? i dont know. just feel that it is not any special day anymore. because i m happy everyday. the worst is gone. nothing will be worse than that.



Thursday, August 24, 2006

yesterday.
our model was late,so professor took this skeleton out,and ask us to draw. but instead of drawing,we dressed him/her up.according to the professor,the skeleton was a girl last year. so this year he will be a guy.
then went to farah the cute's hall. put our things there because we will be going out after that. the 3 of us were so happy putting on make up and we forgot the salsa try out. when we went there,it was too late. the class had started. so kat farah joel n me just sit there and chat about things.
took mrt to somerset to meet the other classmates. guess what,our class is the slackest class in the school. we still have time to play/shop etc together. yesterday we went zouk. i can say my guy classmates are so good! wahaha! and i love my class' girls too! especially meow meow and farah the cute!

today.
obviouly cant wake up early.but still i managed to force myself to go for history lecture. and people from other schools were asking us what module we are taking. because we keep having the chance to see nudes. pictures and in real. exciting right?
then again went to farah's hall. gossip about people.
and today kat/kim kim and me went for ice skating! we joined the club. haha. kim and my 1st time. kim fell down quite a lot of times,and i only fell down once because i kept holding kat's hand.haha. but it was so fun! :D

tired...................................................



Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

i was feeling very moody in the morning. so sleepy and tired. most of all,today is tuesday. the longest day of the week. feel so restless tired and no motivation. did lots of stupid things and i made myself a joke. planning to change the tuition timing again,because i really cant bear dropping any of them. hope they dont mind me changing. i m really very tired. blame myself. i have not touch my art history homework,and my sketches are liked shit. arghhh! but i got no mood to do my things. i remember forcing myself to do tutorials in jc,but i cant now. dont know why. sob.

looking forward to friday. shortest day and lovely boonlay i love you! :D
no matter how late,i will still wait for you.



Monday, August 21, 2006

3D lessons today. played with wires again. but this time more dangerous actions followed. we had to solder the wires and connect them together. 1st time doing such fun things. and i got hit by the hot wire. :( not concentrating. my soul was at the canteen already. blame myself. but quite happy because peter finally accept what i made.

i dont know why i think of him so much. keep thinking that he is so near me. it is a habit to wait for his sms. it is such a drastic change. when i reach boonlay today,i burst out laughing. thought of him. he took my jokes seriously,and thought i m meeting him on sunday 7am there. i can just think about him for the whole day. but...why? i like him? no way? confused.
he sms me saying that he will be busy till tomorrow morning. no sleep at all. what a tough life. just receive his sms. he say he is carrying a bag of my weight. and got to walk for 16km. so tiring. haiz... sorry bear with me. dont know what i m talking about.

ks asked me if i still think of **. not really. but a bit. all thanks to *** who love to message me about him. how can i ever forget? but well,i m so much better now. i m lying if i dont care about it totally. and surprise! many people in ks' unit know what he did to me! ahhhh why everyone know???? dont make me feel like i m the victim. I M NOT. i think i m so lucky. :D



Sunday, August 20, 2006

sunday. oh my...tomorrow is monday. got to wait for another week... :(

i believe that i will be in my good luck soon.

today a friend talk to me about him. it had been so long. hai... is it so hard to forget someone? hmmm i m not talking about myself. i miss those days in jc. haiz...

actually i was quite happy today. i sense some change after yesterday. dont know if what i think is true. but at least it makes me happy. yup will wait for weekend again.

今天我真的很开心。昨天我对他说我已经放开了
今天真的比较开心。有时不在乎反而会更快乐
是什么关系，我们也不太清楚了
不过算了，不一定要有什么关系，才会幸福
我很幸福，有他她它。

朋友才会陪你一生一世

i really love cis alot! my gosh. she is soooo sweet! today i miss ben's show,feel a bit down. then cis sent me 2 mms. is ben's pic! my gosh...........she is just so sweet. so touched! :D muacks muacks!

went out to do my sketching. found a nice spot to settle down and draw. after some time people start to crowd again and look at my drawing. BUT i havent started with my sketching yet. so paiseh. and got this friendly guy who ask me to go to the sofa at some office there to draw. because it is hot outside.
then meet lao da for dinner and movie. quite fun. and haha we watched ant bully. :D

oh i really love all my friends!



Friday, August 18, 2006

today's 4D lesson was ok. some difficulties in catching what lecturer ken said. and i felt so stupid today! kat wanted to go to the toilet,she asked for permission and yup i follow her. and ken suddenly say that he dont allow me to go. so i believed him and sit down. after a while,found out that he was just kidding. but i take it so seriously. i cant take jokes. cant even differentiate them. he loves to call us little bastards. but well it is just for fun. i think i will be going to fail my history and literature. :(

seriously think that today was a bad day for me. he found out everything and he forced me to tell him personally. i didnt reply his sms because my thoughts are really in a total mess. i dont even know what i m thinking at that moment. told him i will sms him later. but i switched off my phone. he called me but of course it didnt get through. i did it on purpose. avoiding it again. i hate it! it is a yes or no answer but he just pretend to be that way. what is he trying to hint/prove/do? i dont understand a single thing. well it is time to solve it. and i m going to solve it tomorrow. and seriously again,i dont understand these people. may be i m one of them.

meeting the isomers tomorrow!



Wednesday, August 16, 2006

first time drawing nudes :0 everything went smoothly today. i enjoyed the foundation drawing lesson. love the studio. i picked a nice corner. everything is just so nice.


tired.



Tuesday, August 15, 2006

???

we are all in black. today's theme is gothic. but we look like bodyguard...

Monday, August 14, 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnmJunFuVBE

my BEN is so cute! haha...

my ugly work. oops Aidan at work... and look behind,the guy in greyish blue,that's our 'teacher'!aaron kwok!

everyone has the same toolbox! :D

how i hope he is always here for me. how i hope i dont need to wait till weekends.

how i hope,everything didnt start in the first place. how i hope that i m free from this.

how i hope, i can let go. :D

everyone is asking me the same thing. yet he didnt give them any reply. and finally i told all of them,the answer is no. with a mixed feeling. i dont want to admit it,i feel better telling them i dont know. let it hang in the air.

hey the boonlay smell is actually co co smell. er, is the spelling correct? aiya it is some chocolate factory making chocolates la. smell super disgusting.

so near yet so far

Sunday, August 13, 2006

went out with mummy. cant stand staying at home on weekends. bought my toolboxes and pliers. dont know how to carry all that to school tomorrow. will be very heavy.

weekend just ended like that. next week is starting. n i will look forward to next weekend.

problem still not solved yet. talk to so many people. and of course,they dont really understand. it is a complicated problem. lk ask me to take initiative. but it is so complicated. i m real bad. dont feel good inside. even if i get what i want. but how if i will lose everything in the end? i dont want. given 2 choices,pick one. it is not so easy to decide. hard to control too. argh. help. dont know how to describe my feelings now.

i feel that i m really lucky.

chatt with the problematic people yesterday. problem again and again. all along my way of solving such problem is either forget it,or find out the real solution. but for now,i will just adopt the forget-it way. because... may be not only me will get hurt,but also other people. i can see what will be the outcome. i m just sianz. -___-



Saturday, August 12, 2006

actually i dont understand why people love to add strangers online. they want more friends? if it is the reason,does that mean he/she dont have enough friends in real life? or they still feel empty? guys only add girls,and girls only add guys. what's behind it? is it really to find a true friend,or a partner?
i just dont accept this. hate blind dates. may be it is a wrong view,but i think blind dates are for despo. oops.

i m happy with my life now actually. but how long can it last? is it right to take the path i m taking now?

anyway...no offence.

cant imagine i m at home now. :( planned to go out with cis,but in the end... haiz let's not talk about that. feel so sorry. really very sorry.

有人说，有起有落的生活比平淡的人生好。如果没有伤心，那来的快乐？平淡的人生，会让人觉得无趣，也不懂得珍惜平静，也因为没有伤感，快乐也会变成了习惯。可是对于知足的人，平淡并不是坏事。没有快乐，也不会有伤心和失落。

we are just feeling empty inside. i dont know what i want.



Friday, August 11, 2006

so tired today. bought most of the art material. and i had a hard time carrying those things home. stupid newsprint! but it was quite fun,my classmates are so helpful! :D

at first thought that today's literature will be stressful and scary. i just hate literature so much. but my lecturer (?) jeremy is such a cool guy! he's creative and i like his way of talking. he keep saying 'that's cool'. yup it is cool! wahaha! we were late for 15mins. and the tutorial is about 1hour. so it is really quite slack actually.

looking forward to tomorrow. meeting cis! yeah! i miss her. and got to give tuition in the morning. and may be will get to watch fireworks? haiz i always hope that i can go with someone special. but... no one is interested. lao da always has to book in early. -__- tomorrow is the last day.



Thursday, August 10, 2006

i think i m addicted to blogging. i feel better after blogging here.

well today my mood is still like yesterday. found out something that i shouldnt have found out. and i tried to keep it from V. but in the end,we feel that it is better to let him know. i feel guilty. i promised V not to ask. he is not angry. he say he will be angry if i dont tell him. haiz. i feel sad for him. ya everything is unfair in this world. we have to face it. something better will happen. must get ourselves out of the depression state.

friend around me are not having a good time. and me too. same fate as them. what to do? just face it... i think i m dependent on one of my very good friend. feel that he understand me best. and most importantly,jiang yi qi! haha. not saying that isomers dont,but they are too busy. i don wanna add on to their problems. aiya what m i talking about? nevermind.

today's lesson was chim! argh... my lecturer speaks in a very weird way. had a hard time concentrating,understanding what he was trying to say. but the lesson was interesting. we watch quite alot of movies. not those spiderman superman kind. it is very abstract till i dont understand. it is stressful because he want us to tell him how we feel about the movie. in the end,i was physically there. but my mind went to somewhere else. and tomorrow is that stupid literature tutorial. haiz. damn stressssssss.

cant stand myself from being so messy. haiz. i got no colour pens.



Wednesday, August 09, 2006

woke up early today. accompany my mum to the sungei buloh nature reserve. haha. so happening right? ya i love the nature. quite happy when i see my mum and her friend get excited. two cute aunties.

then meet up with lk at orchard. got my things done.
then went to adeline's house for potluck. not-so-good things happen. ade discriminate lk,so she just close the door and leave him outside the house,not letting him in. cis and me were quite shocked,dont know what to do. it is her house,we have to listen to her. but in the end i just open the door for him la. feel so bad. because it was me and cis who asked him to come.

ya. HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
i was quite excited yesterday,because i thought today will be fun. who knows everyone has to go home or book in so early. :( kind of feeling low actually. when i talk about those things with lao da,it seems that there's no answer and will eventually make both of us unhappy. it is not a good way to solve problem. we dont even know where the problem lies. feel very 失落 after going to ade's house. may be... cos of
-i miss the isomers
-what we discuss make us feel unhappy
-i started to depend on people around me

it is not a good habit i know. trying to get myself out of it.

yesterday's bai fen bai got my dearest BEN! :D if i m in taiwan,i will try to stalk him! haha kidding. he was quite sad because he was forced to do something that he dont really like,instead of singing. he is a singer ok? with talents and everything. but haiz... i just dont understand why B.A.D are disband. so sad. feel really sad for ben. sob........ but i will support and LOVE him forever :D

know what? it is too late... 我慢了一步



Tuesday, August 08, 2006

this is a messy entry. my mind is in a big mess............

today was another exciting day. as usual we got lost in school. cant find the building. had 2D design lesson today. boring! because we did nothing but introduce ourselves,talk a alot. and somehow,the lecture was boring too. nearly fell asleep. went to CCA exhibition. the only thing that attracts me was the lion dance booth. haha i dont know why. after that when i was about to leave the exhibition venue,i saw john! haha.

今天真的是灰灰灰。一年前发生的时，本来该忘记了。可是偏偏有人又来勾起那些回忆。不能否认我还是会想，失落还是真的快乐？

she came to talk to me. at first about things in university. then...she start to ask if i still resent her. i answer her nope. it is not her. but the whole thing. what happen that time was the factor,not her. i believe that there's no right or wrong in relationship. no point blaming anyone. i learnt alot from it. the most important now,is to accept the fact,move on,be happy. she told me that she is happy now. maybe i should say they are happy now. i m too actually. i dont know why,but i like her as my friend. i dont get to see what my isomers see. but well,it is always better to see someone's positive points rather than flaws.

people change. i admit that i change a alot. from a happy person to a ridicously hostile person and again to the new me now. it is for others to judge. although i think i m happy with i have now. doesnt mean others will like me. today i said sorry to someone who i hurt. i remember that was the time when i got so fed up with things and haha i m damn nasty. i feel guilty when i think of it. he did nothing wrong. it was me. i dont allow myself to regret anything. the only thing i can do now is to prevent making same mistakes.

i dont hate anyone now. even him. the only way to be happy,is to look at the positive angle and there's always more things to look forward to. anyway,i really want to tell them that i dont hate them. 看透了就没事了。放手才是最好的方法。

i dont know why,i just feel so tired today. no mood to check mailbox and everything. uni is so messy that sometimes i still feel like a lost kid. and i m so lazy to arrange my notes and whatever. not like me last time,i want everything to be neat and nice! it was only today that i realise i m a neat freak. haha. got to get so many things tomorrow. popular/art friend blah blah blah. eat my money. oh the lecturer said :"no money,dont be an art student". dont really get the real meaning behind it but how can he say that! and haiz the things given to us are so messy! i cant stand it. maps and everythin. i have 3 maps with me now. ntu is a big maze!
oh ya and the lecturer asked about what i want to major in. haha i dont know! my mind in really in a big mess. but film is interesting. :D imagine i m the director! wahaha! coolll.........................



Monday, August 07, 2006

first day of school was exciting. got to wake up so early. and it was so crowded at boonlay interchange. cant believe it! the queue for bus 179 was super long! the people in the queue can surround that whole of boonlay interchange. i was so blur,i walked up to the place where the sign 179 is located,then i realised the end of the queue was behind. got to walk back there again. haiz i looked very stupid today!

met up with some of my group mates,and walked from ADM building to S3.1. obviously,it is quite impossible to find our way there on our own. my friend asked her senior to bring us there. we were on time. but the lecturer was not. he also got lost in school. oh yes! he looked like aaron kwok! handsome and young! haha that's not the point. it was 3D lesson. and wow it was fun! :D do sketches and cutting... words used by aaron kwok today were quite chim. kind of lost.
honestly,dont feel quite comfortable being with some of my classmates. although there's kat with me,but both of us hope that the 6 of us can be in the same class. at least we are not so lost. and somehow i still prefer my OG. jean/kat/me/ks/gavin/joel. :( but got to get used to it la!
and for my 3D design lesson,aaron kwok asked us to buy a toolbox. with hammer/screw driver/etc inside. i thought i was only a small small art student. now i look like an engineer. and my money! haiz. got to buy so many things!

literature was super boring! help! and i dont understand what the angmoh guy was trying to say. the text was so #$^*)&%&#. so many chim chim words. argh! i dont know how to survive. they say i looked stressed in lecture. i was. haiz.

lao da's camp is also at boonlay! haha. this week is going to be happening. tomorrow got to rush to my tuition kid's place after school. and wednesday got to go to woodlands with my mum and her friend. then got to buy my tools and materials. lao da say he is going with me! yeah!



Sunday, August 06, 2006

saturday

went out with my cutie mummy. ate dinner at lao di fang. wanted to buy my art materials at art friends,but guess what,it was closed at 6pm on weekends. oh no! so in the end,i dint buy anything for my foundation drawing tutorial. we are so lucky! haha... fireworks at esplanade yesterday. we were at city hall there,but can see the fireworks quite clearly. took some pictures,but it is so blur. :( my mum said,fireworks symbolise relationship. ya it is so true!

and found out something yesterday. was chatting with one of my classmates in ADM,and he suddenly ask if i know this guy. i was so shocked. this guy actually told me that he has a friend going into the same course as me. and i thought it is this classmates of mine. in the end,he said that his friend is the cousin of this guy. this guy told his cousin that i m in this course. -_- world is really so small. rumours are spreading again!

sunday

tuition at upper BK today. surprised by the improvement made by that little kid! he scored full marks for his spelling today,and he finally remember the meaning of 'singular' and 'plural'. the cutest thing he did today,was that he asked me to take pictures for him. haha! and video clips using my hp. so funny! he actually hint that he has something new for me to take video of. so yup i took pictures with him with my camera. but he looked as if i forced him! i didnt ok?

then meet my lao da at suntec. have a fun time playing a fool. he ate carls jr and kfc for lunch.2 whole set meals! and poor him. only can book out at saturday evening,then book in again on sunday night. pay is high,but life is tough. last year made this 5 years deal with vic. now there's one more 1year deal with lao da. may be we are just fighting against god's will. haha. anyway,he forgot to bring my important literature notes! and i got to go all the way back to serangoon to take from him. really very tired now.

i m not feeling well now,how? tomorrow is the 1st day of school! help... i still dont know where my classroom is located. haiz... nervous.

我说过，一定不会做出对不起朋友的事，一定不会！但有时，难免会有些人在背后挑拨离间。我只想说，我不会做出这种事，永远不会！he was so right. today i was thinking about that question again. if it was me,i will choice the same answer too. lao da and i think very differently. well. my answer is stated above. anyway nothing has happened yet. so no need to think so much. luckily.

Friday, August 04, 2006

went to school for an important talk (i mean the buffet lunch was important). we were late. not because we got lost. the talk was quite ok,but i nearly fall asleep. so not used to going back to school for lectures. is lucky that my course dont really have many lectures. mostly are tutorials. today's main point is to tour the school. in case we dont know where is the place. but argh i m still blur. they look all the same. and the lunch was great! sushi!! :D
took some pictures with my lousy phone.

cant imagine i m taking an art course instead of a science one. cant imagine i m having art lessons everyday. dont know how will it be like. some of my friends were talking about studying without lecture notes and books. feel quite uncomfortable about that. yesterday met up with isomers at IMM,saw them with whole stack of lecture notes. just have this weird feeling... it is so different now. drastic change. is it a good one or bad one? everyone is so nervous about starting school. got to wake up earlier,just in case i get lost again.

yesterday went to IMM with the isomers. taught them how to make their own bento. i love the $2 shop. heard from fen that the boss there is a handsome guy. haha that's not the main point. but really admire his creavity. and...i miss the isomers so much. love them alot!

i got my new EZlink card. the photo is ugly :(

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

received my timetable. a messy one.
mon: literature/3D design
tues: 2D design
wed: western art history/foundation drawing
thurs: 4D design/western art history
Fri: literature

messy! argh...

met up with jerome just now. talk about some business thingy. it is not interesting at all. haha. but well,i know he want to help me. anyway,talk about david. both of us are really irritated by him. but we want to help him. how? scold him? and in the end we found out that he has been lying to us. sigh! then talk about rome's own problem. quite sad. it is the same old family problem. he said that it is improving. jacky is quitting his gang. and i asked kailim to come to my house and study. hope it helps. youngsters tend to trust friends more than family. there are some communication problem between them. it is not easy to solve it,unless the child understand their parents' thoughts. and same applies to the parents.
i m really lucky to have my parents and sister.

this is another grumpy post by the grumpy me.

i always stop myself from posting anything about that person here. because i think it is real bad to complain so much here about a particular person. he might feel angry/sad,and it is unfair as it is just problem between the both of us. even if i posted it on my blog,i will delete it the day after. now i wont. i respect people who respect me. but since now i m so popular that so many people know about me from u,then i should talk about the same thing here.
my mum said:"i live so long,never see such people like this before"
no offence. just an opinion from my dearest mum. and now,all my isomers are so unhappy too.
no choice but telling them the whole story.
kaori's hairy creature,who is a guy,said:"haha. what is this? but right,can recycle also not bad. no need to waste money :D"
so... it is not just the girls feeling that this is ridiculous.

i kept quiet when people took my money from my wallet without telling me. i kept quiet when people complain about me. i kept quiet when people dont listen to me.
dont think i will be able to keep quiet now. i m not a perfect girl,i can be angry too right?
it is not me having attitude problem. i did everything i can. and i know sometimes i m nasty(to some people). i m really sick of this! take it and just get lost.

ok back to normal. today is the 1st lesson at aljunied. my student is cute.another cutie. but super lazy. she is fen's ex student. heard alot about her from fen. but overall,she is ok. location is just right for me. i want to teach her sister too. but i still have ah boy... if i take 3,it will be hectic. school starting next week. friday got to go school for some orientation lunch. 10am to 5.30pm. -__-