Sunday, April 30, 2006

i feel so uneasy now. my other neighbours even move to other places because of this. haiz. quite saddening. talked to my neighbour's bro. he told us that his wallet was missing. i really feel so uneasy. yesterday night all the 3 of us squeezed into one room. i keep hearing footsteps outside. didnt meet the isomers today,because i dont want to let my mum be alone at home. just want to make sure everything is ok. and everything will be fine soon. very soon :(

tuition today was ok. the kid is so guai1 today.

really hope that this will be over soon. haiz.



Saturday, April 29, 2006

there's a police outside my house. more will be coming over soon i think. they found my neighbour lying dead in his house. quite shocked to hear about it. was giving tuition just now when my sister called. feeling quite weird now. because he is still my neighbour afterall. although not familiar. this few days i smell things,but i didnt tell anyone because as you know my area is super dirty and messy. i dont know that this is the smell of dead body. sob. that police asked me some questions. about who i see and things like that. haiz... poor guy... what is happening to the society? and what's happening to people in my area? March,a girl was killed by her step father,around my area too. haiz!

the distance from me and the police outside now is so near. can hear the converstation. eeek the more i hear,the more i feel sad and scared. human are so scary. especially when someone is in anger. who knows what a person can do to another.

talk about the tuition kid. wahaha... today his mum is away,and his dad gave me permission to whack him. ok i wont do that. but i scolded him today. successful in controlling him. he is still a lazy kid. got to push him,real hard! :D

Thursday, April 27, 2006

whatever it is.... Yue Ru is still the better choice. to me...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=017okaFwNGw&search=%E4%BB%99%E5%89%91%E5%A5%87%E4%BE%A0%E4%BC%A0

watch this!

and dont think i dont know. i know and i understand. but i m really not that perfect. i feel bad too.

i know. but you?

depressed.
haiz. i dont know why.
everything is going wrong. i dont know why.



Wednesday, April 26, 2006

i lost a student again. :( he's moving to Yishun soon. and well, is too far for me to travel all the way to Yishun. went down to his place today to collect tuition fee. haiz. it is happening to me again. i know is useless to compare with other people. but when i told them about what's happening,they also feel that i m quite unlucky. and look at it differently,console myself,when i get into uni,i cant have so many students. so just stick with tis 2 or 3 boy boy girl girl ba. quite irresponsible if i haf to dump them aside when my school starts.
haiz. :(



Monday, April 24, 2006

one and a half hour of tuition. the kid is super active and 'ah pek'. 'ah pek'... means the way he talk. in hokkien and love to act like those kopitiam uncle,trying to act cool so that he can cover up those things he is weak in. but he is cute. hide behind the door when he know i m coming,and his mum got to pull him out. and he dont dare to look at me. because he said he dont like teacher with specs. haha. i choose to wear specs because i want to act smart. remember LD people love to call me char siew bao chong cai. yeah i look smart ok? but kids dont like smart teachers. too bad. i m still ok with the kid. but i dont like the way his parents treat their son. his mum is sitting beside us all the way. and when i give spelling,she give hints to her son. want to ask her to give me some privacy. but...i dont dare. next lesson if this happen again,i will try to tell her about it. haiz. parents nowadays... ahem... heard for lailin that her friend got punch by her student. oh my gosh. scary. devils!

tomorrow. my 2nd student. a china student. hope he/she will be more sensible. wont punch me or scold me or... but anyway, one and a half hour is short. so i think it is ok. hope to get more sec sch students. anyone can intro some students to me?????? please..........

not in good mood tis few days. tired of seeing people around me falling sick and dont want to see a doctor. and ya. not much interesting things happen tis few days. another reason is because of the expo and sk2 job. that agency confirm the 4 of us. but everytime after confirmation,she will tell us that the job is cancelled or postpone or we are not pretty enough ( sad reason ). disappointment everytime. the pay is high and we love the job. but same thing is happening again. haiz. there goes my money. and we are struggling to look for another job,which is giving tuition. and i have only 2 students. after deduction of the commission thingy,i will only get $170 for the whole month. sad case. not that i dont like tuition,but it is just that parents are not cooperating,and pay is not enough. how to survive. eeek. and i though i could work with the isomers. xiang de mei. sob.

to be lazy. sometimes i really hope to be a tai tai. slack at home and got money. oops. i very bad. i m just being abit lazy. dont take it too seriously. :D

stupid agency. i dont want to step into tampines to look for job again. m i very unlucky? 1st is Byran pest. next is this irresponsible lady. sob. tampines is the worst place i've been in singapore. too extreme i know. aiya just dont look for jobs there la. stupid.



Saturday, April 22, 2006

tomorrow is my first time giving tuition. not including jer's sister. quite nervous now. keep thinking of how their parents will think of me. dont laugh at me la. but excited too. i love kids. :D
hope that i will have more assignments.

went out with fen n ping. eat pepper lunch for dinner. nice. haha.

oh ya. my mum got the 1st prize for lucky draw. an oven. heehee!! super lucky right?



Thursday, April 20, 2006

Create your own message at BlingyBlob.com

friends?
probably now. u will think that i dont care for you because i m in a new environment now. but the real reason that i dont ask u so much is because of the reaction u show last time. u dont want us to care for you. and when we didnt ask,you will think that we've changed and we dont care for you anymore. no. i care. i still care for you. if u read this,i hope u will understand. we didnt change. it is just that we dont want to make you unhappy.

i m sick of dont know what. feeling super lousy. how will i feel tomorrow?

love is not just what i've expected. but more complicated and the way we express it is different. haiz.



Wednesday, April 19, 2006

abit surprised by these 2 guys. i mean how brave they are to tell everyone that they are gays. so many people think that gays are disgusting. and after telling everyone that they fell in love,their friends leave them. sad right? so sad when you really love each other but all the people are against you. to me,there's nothing wrong what. when u find someone that really loves you,it is the happiest thing. but how if everyone is against both of you? take it as i m talking about a normal couple. still sad right? and so many people scold them,laugh at them. erm they did not do anything bad to anyone. then why are people treating them like that? just feel that they have their rights too.

heehee. i saw it. u deserve a scolding! u dont know how other people look at you. a bit bad,but ya u are an idiot. trying to be cool,but u are not cool at all.

well...i m bad. :D

was watching Yu Le 100% just now. there was this match making session for singers. and this episode is about Cao Ge and Mayi going out together. cao ge is so shy and mayi is so cute. cant believe that cao ge will do so much sweet things to mayi. oh my gosh. if i were mayi,i will cry too. both of them are so cute. if u miss this episode,u miss a chance to see how xing fu couple can be. so sweet so sweet!!!



Sunday, April 16, 2006

cis said that she has a bad feeling about the hk trip. i feel that way too. just that i didnt talk about it. somehow feel that only few of us are really interested. but that's not the only reason for the bad feeling. er i dont know. that job is put on hold. :( that's the bad news for me. haiz. 20days cut down to 4 days. but look at the bright side,i have more time to sleep.

was not feeling well the whole day. planning to take a walk after dinner with mum. but i was too tired and feel so giddy. dont know what is happening to me. i m thinking too much again.



Saturday, April 15, 2006

went out with cis n trans today. sing kbox! haha. only the 3 of us,and we got so high singing wang li hong's songs. hee. my favourite Forever Love. used to pester my dear cis. ;) that song is so nice. then then then went to far east and tanglin. happy day. it is always so fun to disturb cis.

at 3am today.someone is trying to peep into out house through the window. eee so scary. there's alot of such cases around our area. eee... eee... eee... eee...



Friday, April 14, 2006

many friends who are younger than me are telling me that their life is sianz. when school reopen,they told me that they are feeling sianz because of school. school work and stress. when they are having school holidays,they told me that they feel sianz (again) because holidays is too long,nothing to do. and when school reopen (again), they say that they are so sianz (again again) because school starts le. another case is that people complain about their school or living environment. competitive and things like that. is not only here that is competitive, it is everywhere. if you dont work hard,do u expect everything to fall from the sky? competitive is not completely a bad thing as most people think. if not,many people will be slacking all the way,and complaining that life is sianz (again again again). some not so close friends suddenly appear and tell me that life is sianz. they want me to suggest some things for them to do. oh another thing is some guy friends are complaining about ns life. not about how tough it is. but about NO GIRLS. wahaha! so i told them to bring photos of girl and look at it every night before they sleep.

no girls. no holidays. no school. no work. too much stress. too much holidays. too much competition. they are unhappy with everything. and they are thinking this way everytime!

dont want to be too nasty. i answered everything with 'haha' . but i really think is ridiculous. why most guys cant survive without seeing girls? si se gui. jerks. idiots. (i m saying most. not all. dont complain) next time will hear them telling everyone that their gf is ugly or whatever. and other girls are better.ok. go for other girls,if u can. if life here is so bad,then you think life in other countries are better?

if dont want to accept opinions,then why ask? this is something i really dont understand. when people are popular,they feel that everyone if fake. when people are not,they feel that no one cares for them. so what will make them satisfied? always expecting things from others. but when they are good to them,they dont appreciate it. do some reflections. stubborn people get nothing. why are all the people avoiding you? ever think of an answer?

wo bu shi xin li yi sheng. i m just someone who is not perfect and nasty to most guys. if u dont help yourself,no one is going to help you. no matter how much time and strength i wasted,it is because i still treat you as my friend. life is not that simple,also not that complicated. but there's no textbook teaching you how to be a happy person. no teachers can tell you the exact answer.
and it is not me who think alot now. u can think,but pull yourself out when you are thinking of bad things. at least i m not suffering from depression. i m lucky. ya if u dun help yourself,you are digging your own grave cos no one will be able to save u.

i know i m bad. i dont trust people easily. and i think too much. things cant be change easily. let this be a warning? i m not perfect. dont like me just dont read what i type here.

i m a boring person. but i love my life. i love to stone. if u ask me what to do so that life wont be sianz. just stone like me. appreciate the art of silence. hahaha. shopping/movie/clubbing etc sounds boring and too noisy for me.

ok. the end of nagging. i m honest. ru guo wo de zui ni,ooops,bu hao yi si. :)



Wednesday, April 12, 2006

i broke my record. we walked from mount faber to clarke quay. yesh is from the top of mount faber! :D but i love it...

why are we unhappy sometimes,it is because of what we are thinking. but it is not possible to control it totally,or even knowing that you are actually thinking about it. there's something in my mind that is controlling me. it is hard to get rid of because i myself dont know that it exist. that something always telling me that i m not a happy person. and i wont be happy because i lost someone. that's how that something want me to think. what i want to do is to get rid of something. and change everything. er... complicated entry. nevermind.

i used to type alot about the happy times i spent with him in the past. but looking back now,i sounds stupid. hmm... because it is stupid to tell everyone everything when it is something between me and him. to many people,i m really happy at that time. but i've already forgotten about the character i m in the past. i m me now. a careful someone who think toooooo much. but i know. the right one will slowly change me into someone i like again. and i want to stay happy with the right one.

love is not about selfishness. not about expecting things. not about jealousy.

i found someone who is almost perfect in my eyes. or may be when u love someone,you wont look at his negative side. or is because we are alike in the way we think about things. or may be......i m thinking too much now. but no matter what,i know i will be happier than last time. ok dont compare. but i will be happy. he is not jm's brother in my eyes anymore. sounds childish to say this,but i hope,it wil be forever.
i m too serious in everythin.



Monday, April 10, 2006

finally,i feel that i've forgotten everything that i kept for almost half a year. i m really happy now. maybe for so long,i m just locking myself up. and i didnt give myself a chance. everything is fine now. just that i have to adapt to new way of life.




Sunday, April 09, 2006

took the faculty test yesterday. the test was a killer. haha. but i m not disappointed la. expected it to be like that. tried my best to write some things there on the answer booklet. and i think is fun. sitting in the freezing cold LT with so many strangers. and it is funny to see how other people response when they got the test paper. they are cool. haha. and i m crazy. laughing to myself :D. wont be disappointed because...er....i also dont know why.

oh ya. some copycats out there are copying us,naming themselves double bonds and whatever. not saying that they cant use these terms to name themselves,but look at who these people are. if u are their friend,please remind them not to copy me. dont know that they respect me so much. keep talking about me and laugh at dont know what. just dont understand. so DOUBLE BONDS,please dont copy us again. how old already? 18? 19? or even 20? act like one.

isomers gathering yesterday. had a crazy day. calling cis mummy. this is what trans love to do. so fun. but got so tired after meeting them. then went to pasir ris to meet da shu. had a good LONG walk again. haha.

erm i think i m getting better already. this time for real. it is going to end soon.



Wednesday, April 05, 2006

ryoko qu shi le. told my mum n sis yesterday. sis gave me a very shocked look. to them it is too sudden. but we expected it. sob. bu she de ta bu guo zhe yang dui ta yin gai hui bi jiao hao ba.

dont worry about me, i m ok. :)

everything has a limit. jokes too. when you are asking people about something they like or dislike. dont keep asking why. you think everything has a reason behind it? no. normal people wont ask people why when they say they like something. and ya jokes. there's a limit. the worst thing is when u dont even know someone else and u dare to use such jokes to judge people. or i should say judge people by the surface. you dont even know what others went through. fair to judge people this way? no matter how well u did for your A level,you are just nothing when you come to all these. why your friends are ignoring you or avoiding you? it is because what you did is super irritating. most importantly,you are not even my true friend. is there a need to report everything to you?

got a lot more to say.

but... haiz... bad day. so u juz shut up



Tuesday, April 04, 2006

no.1 fansss on mr aw's neck/shoulder/whatever

superstar and his fansss

was at pasir ris the whole night. walk alot again. haha.

who's my type :
Creative. Sensitive. A bit offbeat. Your type is the Artiste, a unique man who knows how to express himself in many ways, whether it's through words, music, or attire. You're attracted to his unconventional ways and his remarkable talents. He doesn't feel compelled to abide by society's norms. He believes that individuality is the key to happiness, and everything he does is a reflection of his "inner self". You fall head-over-heels for such confidence and style. Whether he's playing a song he wrote for just you or writing you a love letter, this man knows how to make you feel special. He's in touch with his feminine side and doesn't need to assert his masculinity to feel manly. If we were to paint a picture of your future, the Artiste would definitely be part of it!

er....?????

Saturday, April 01, 2006

everything is settled. i think. but i m still feeling very tired. too many things coming at a time and so many people asking me to solve it. sometimes feel like shutting my ears and concentrate.

i find it so hard to change myself. i want to be like last time. how much time i need?
so cute