Saturday, December 30, 2006

deathnote 2 was nice. L so cute. and the girl (aka jian nu ren) so pretty.
第一次和少爷去看电影. so special but we went in late and missed some parts.
going malaysia for 2days 1night. tired of packing my stuff. very lazy. and really silly.
想起刚才,唉!越在乎,越怕失去. 我真的很很很很在乎.

i m really very silly.
sorry...
and byebye!



Friday, December 29, 2006

headache. honestly,i cant take stress.
who dont want to be happy? but just let me take half an hour to be sad.
hmm ya still happy when i know they care. without letting me know. and i know.



Thursday, December 28, 2006

better.

a bit disappointed in msyself. wrong to have such a high expectation.
but on a lighter note,i did quite ok for literature. so i dont need to retake!

lion dance gathering. went to bugis area for dinner. really miss the people. 没想到一转眼就1年多了,好久不见. but to me,everything still the same. hmmm cw's sense of hearing is getting worse,memory too. haha. toni and lailin still as cute. lion still blur. miss them so much!! hmmm miss the lion dance days.

toni asked,how if you and your friend fall for the same person? will you tell your friend or just keep quiet or may be give up? i asked some people the same question. guys will say give up,because they can always find another girl. but toni and me feel that we should choose the guy,because friends can understand,and feelings cannot be controlled.
although...i feel guilty. happy when together with the person,but feel bad when think of friend. may be,should keep it as a secret forever.

偶尔想起以前,好怀念所有过的快乐. 人总是要往前走,往前看. 回忆也只是一段过去. 不可以让它影响未来. 只是...现在真的好怀念那时我们一起快乐的日子.

坐在海边唱歌,一起吃晚餐,一起疯，一起'罢工'...希望一切从未变过. always know the importance of friendship. no one will stay by your side forever except your friends and family. no one will be always there to listen to you excepts family and friends. cant remember who said that. but ya i love my family friends and someone.

miss esplanade,sky garden,boat quay,fort canning park...

i... really lack a lot of confidence.
"haha...understandable...given the previous setback...but treat this as a new one...dun bring in mistakes from the last to this one...plus dun think too much abt it...when u dun like abt wat the other half does...tell him nicely...communication is v impt" - cw
haha thanks big head!


我是个容易感动的家伙. 很感动.



Wednesday, December 27, 2006

again.
how important?
not important at all.

someone recommended nana. yesterday forced myself to stop multi tasking and concentrate on watching.
又点到我的死穴... 不过凡是有例外,对不对？

life is always like a cycle. same things repeat everyday.
honestly i still feel that computer/internet blah blah bring suffering to me.



Tuesday, December 26, 2006

说句难听的.
往往只有我等人的份.

be a fool act like a fool.
ya right fool.



Monday, December 25, 2006

carrot 1 carrot 2 who dont look like carrot

Friday, December 22, 2006

i remember someone said "the 1st person you click on friendster is not me but anyone else".
i remember there were some people complaining about friendster because it shows too much information. we people,love to complain. when there's not enough information,we complain. too much,we complain again.

complaints everywhere!
we organised this christmas eve gathering. our beloved fatty complain about us, especially me, for not being experienced in organising things. of course it is not about experienced or not. we have to book pit,we have to look for an auspicious date that everyone can make it. we changed dates because we hope most of you can come. se uncle warned me. 小心他怂恿那些男的. evil!!
some complain that we didnt plan for activities after the dinner. but seriously,if i suggest something,will everyone agree to me? i think,is better to organise on that day. i dont know how to satisfy people. my bad.

luckily peacefully.at least i can settle LD gathering within few hours.

indeed i feel tired when people got unhappy with me. timid to voice out,always think is better to keep quiet. and to complain to someone else who are willing to listen to me. right or wrong?
you are right. dont understand me.



Thursday, December 21, 2006

我在这里写的东西，不一定完全关于我自己.
我也从来不把我所有的东西写在这里.

so alike.
bored!

hope that you are in it? or hope that you are out of it?
contradicting again.
ask. for respect.
answer. for respect too.

bored. got to miss 4E1 gathering again. miss the people.

hmmm.是不是误会了我的意思？
我不是那个意思.

just received mao's christmas card. she wrote it at esplanade. thought of the times we hang out together and had lots of fun there. stay out the whole night and chat. the feeling is just so good. althought it is somehow tiring when the sun rises.

i lost expectations. not a bad thing though. not like me.

feel like travelling around singapore again. sentosa,night safari,changi boardwalk... blah blah.
christmas,dont seems to be interesting to me anymore. just want to have a peaceful day without people shouting cheering whatever. i love silence. enjoy being with the people i love. people who give peace.

can you feel it? the sun,the sea,the sand,the trees...
ya i want it.



Wednesday, December 20, 2006

misunderstanding again. i saw things but depiciting them wrongly.

it has been raining for about 3 days.



Sunday, December 17, 2006

went bedok to have lunch with jing and rome they all. again... brought back a lot of memories. yes bedok-phobic. feel kind of scared when i look at the HDB flats in bedok,north to be more specific. to me,things linked to places. places evoke reality. somehow i think i m still 'unstable',like what my da ge da said. how long do i need to recover? but...it is in the process of recovering.
still dont dare to go certain places. may be i m just avoiding. but when i think of the consequences,i doubt myself again. feel useless sometimes. wanted to get rid of such phobia,and trying hard to. never thought that it will be so hard. but i know that i cant possibly stay at the same spot forever.

saw a lot of photos on a website. this photographer went to some abandoned places in singapore. me,the very curious kid always wanted to go such places to take photos. i mean when i m still brave and daring. may be in the future will have the chance? but really feel that they are cool.
虽然不可以亲身经历，不过照片就可以带我们进入禁地！

still curious about depression stuff. because it is so damn serious that it will kill someone if not handled properly. hmmm got to 声明 ,i m a happy little shortie ok? although a bit emotional.
read a bit on this Schizophrenia. Psychiatry. Also called dementia praecox. a severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all, of the following features: emotional blunting, intellectual deterioration, social isolation, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations. (taken from dictionary.com :D)

so never call people who commit suicide silly. you never know what is the real reason behind it. ya i m talking about you biggish jerk. and ya,still dont irritate me. who like to be irritated? so let me off.

somehow feeling emotional now. after seeing the photos. reading about people who suffer from schizophrenia-hmmm depression. let's not be too intelligent and famous.

should spend more time doing useful research,read more TIME magazine (for gp last time,but i never touch them), do more useful stuff instead of surfing friendster to look at people's photos.
-__- real bad.

dont like. means purely dont like.
dont ask anymore. haiz. cant i have my own life? cant i choose the people and friends who i want to be with? haiz.
why is it so sick. soooo sooo sick. dont irritate me anymore.
dont step into my circle and i wont step into yours.

met trans. went shopping with her. shopping was tiring,but enjoyed the time spent with her. it is always so good to have friends around. something happened and both of us cried. never seen trans so helpless before. at least,we know that she has made the right choice. and at least,they are still friends. they care for each other. at least... at least there is an at-least.

people change. what should you do? sometimes cant help feeling disappointed looking at people around me. there is like nothing we can do. no one can ever control. looking at you,but feel so strange. not that person i used to know anymore. still has a long way to go. just continue walking.

when you are gone,how many people will actually care to look for you?
will those important people notice that you are missing?
even if they know,will they bother?

open your eyes and see who really care for you.

disappointed.
really touched by what she wrote.
that's our fate?

really tired about everything now



Friday, December 15, 2006

i show attitude,unhappy/sad over little little things. always blame it on the past,but totally untrue. feel so bad when i think of his cutie smile. his ah-what-happen? face when i got upset. tangent curve of mine. very bad :( sorry.forgive me. aoi nei

some personal opinion about project superstar. if there's a need to use money to 'buy' victory, then what is the point of the whole competition? not being biased,not directed to anyone. but really dont understand what they want. money or talent?

being a perfectionist is nothing wrong. when there's a need to,it is ok to be one. but in this case, you are killing us. tired of reporting. forwarding smses which you can send. being a confident person is nothing wrong. but dont be over confident. your confidence irritates us. complaining about every single thing we did. when did you put in effort? when will we/someone realise his/her mistakes? try to understand us please.

backstabbers. i trust you. but well,it is my mistake. dont get it. tried to break us up. wished that i feel sianz. i really do feel sianz,when i talk to you. that's what friends are for? or may be you dont even treat us as your friend. how sad to be jealous of everyone around you? how tired to compete with everyone?



Tuesday, December 12, 2006

to my dear cis....
hmmm the isomers miss the cheerful bubbly you. it is hard to ask you not to think much. but... think positively k? miss you a lot! feel so helpless when i cant help you much. only can give you some support. really hope everything will be ok! 会没事的！ muackz....

Broke many records today.
Went to museum with shao ye. The museum looks so grand after renovation.





nothing much to say... so just pictures :D

My heart is so small. There’s only room for you .
Haha taken from that channel 8 show. So damn sweet. Haha.



Monday, December 11, 2006

Sunday, December 10, 2006

everytime.i listen to forever love,i will think of.... trans' house/srjc(shitty)/some past/how cis chats with me everyday last time. after a year when i listen to it again,it is a different feeling. sometimes... feel that hey it is all over! new life is coming,or has already came. so forever love is really meaningful. but dont understand why the mtv is so damn sad.

early in the morning now. but not six o'clock. still awake chatting with people. se uncle told me about this Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). hmmm details read it up yourself. quite interesting. some people use such tactics to get what they want. it still dont work on me yet. because my brain is kind of not working. and also i m stubborn. dont waste time affecting me. not kidding. dont waste your time on me.

just some thoughts.
last time i used to think of future. things that will only happen in future. i used to plan my study timetable before my exams. but never will i follow it. not even once. so what for planning and think so much? most important thing,is to be happy,enjoy whatever u have now. before u lose it. sometimes i think my life is like a cos/sin graph. not a tangent curve luckily. no expectation doesnt mean low quality. it is just up to someone to keep his/her standard. the more you expect,the more you get disappointed. but it depends on what expectations you are talking about. in this case,i have no expectations anymore. i just like it the way it is now.

so.... dont think too much. cheer up. if the worst has already happened,then it will only get better. i hope. that's how i told myself. it should be getting better. the main key of being happy is in our own hands.



Saturday, December 09, 2006

她们说90%的... 都会...
那我不是又要完蛋了？又不是要听很多次 《救生圈》？
唉！摇头...

i ate sushi for dinner again. outing with the isomers. didnt shop much because all the places are crowded. so we went orchard for sushi. saw some people. shocked to hear some unbelieveable thingy from jm. how fake.

but well. wish me luck. i dont want to be what LD said.
some problem again about gathering all the S14 people. aiya why so troublesome right?

and...i miss cis alot :(



Friday, December 08, 2006

i saw his that M-friend that i dislike the most in sr. he stared at me as usual,like what he did in school. god has been nice to me,it is only untill now then i saw one of his friend. who loveeees to stare at people,dont know what is that for. but... i forgive them. although i cant really forget the big impact of their laughters. found on me.

but nevermind... life is still good! haha
feel like eating sushi again :D



Thursday, December 07, 2006

eh funny. since when i m nice? i m supposed to be nasty. right?:D haha everything i touch turns into gold! :D



Tuesday, December 05, 2006

haha so in love with this! ella so cute.and... 吴尊演的左以泉!! my gosh... wahaha... 汪东城 look so much like my sis -_-
左以泉!!!!!!

NTU's system is 米田共, or may be it is our fault not to find it out earlier.
who will you choose to reply if 10 people are talking to you on msn?

i never realise that side of me. only outsiders know. i thought so but actually it is not.
things change.
it changes.
or it has already changed?
or still changing?
我不要活在阴影下.

14more hours!! siu ye siu ye... :D

dont know i keep counting days. today is the 4th. dont know why sometimes feel that time passes so slowly. well u can comment that my life is dull and sianz,but i like it. i enjoy turning into stones at home,read some books,watch vcd that i've watched about 4times. so dont ever change me by saying that it will be sianz. everyone is different.

silence.insomnia. who is going to help me...?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Io7SJvx7zlE
kenny the pro the 管家. must support.

confused. so confused. i m not suitable to be a uni student.



Sunday, December 03, 2006

it is 3rd december! :D

went shopping with mummy. lights at orchard road are so nice. i love christmas. but not as nice as the one i saw few years ago. the blue and white combination.
sometimes... too late to do some things.
有点遗憾，不过不能做什么了。现在最好是把要的东西做完，管它重要不重要。不可以在后悔。
还有，我帮你看了圣诞灯饰... :)



Saturday, December 02, 2006

"dun build ur happiness on other ppls unhappiness"
cant believe that this came out of you mouth.
一直只看到别人对你不好，自己伤了多少人？

today was a long day. tuition was fun. bullied by the two cuties. came home and took a nap. then went out to have dinner. normal routine. dull. realised that i think a lot without shao ye being there with me. a lot of thought keep coming back after the bus reached bedok. dont know is good or bad.
not a good person to handle emotions. is there hatred? such a strong word to use. anyway. happy because i m what i m now. happy because i m with who i love now.

and ya! it is 3rd of december soon! :D

sometimes i wonder... is it really because of me...? i m worried.

what goes up must come down. and it is coming down now. congrats. sorry but to say,it is coming down now. should i laugh at you people? should i return what the same things you all did to me?

haiz. dont know. worried. heart dont feel good

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E923atQ303k&mode=related&search=

ben! show's singing competition. sorry to say that cis,but i think ben sings better than show :D


那个黑心鬼，又在我们背后说坏话。亏我以前还对他那么好,真是没良心！

glad that my dear is happier. hope everything will be fine soon.
waiting for 花样少年少女's episode3. super nice and cute. haha



Friday, December 01, 2006

went to vivo city with shao ye. memorable place! hmmm but it is always so crowded. other than that,vivo is still a nice place. i was looking forward to its 'grand' opening few years back (or one year to be precise). and always thinking who will be there with me when vivo is open. and time flies. and i m with shao ye now. :D
saw some cute doggies at pet safari. the big head furry chow chow left a very deep impression. disgusting but cute. poor her/her. if she/he understands human language,how sad will it be to be called disgusting. i discovered that i love creatures which are lazy,blur,furry and 一团的. so cute.
then went to toysrus to laugh at toys. 现在的玩具很高科技，但又有点好笑. wonder if kids nowadays are happy or not. press the button on the doll's shoe and she'll shake her body,messing up her hair. hmmm,scary. are the kids happy playing with that toy? or they just find her funny?

recently...tired. headache.
recently...being busybody. and others being busybody.
today...srjc prom night. time really flies. still remember last year's prom night. puke. food was nice but i didnt eat much. so damn sad. food is still the most important of all.

how i wish things will be the same forever. or better. greedy me

迷上了《花样少年少女》.故事有点荒唐，不过因为不可能在现实发生，所以才会好看. watch it at youtube. haha.