Wednesday, March 29, 2006

cis know me well. when i feeling down,told her about my problem,what she did is to say tis 2 words. the main power is not from the 2 words,but is from her heart. i dont need nagging,dont need scolding. i just need a simple 2 words and a true friend that cares. i dont need da dao li. i dont need strong word. all i need is someone to be there. when i have problem,the 1st person i will look for is surely cis. she always think that she cant help me. but actually,she is the one who can really encourage me. she give me neutral opinion,without making me feel uncomfortable. cis is the best. :D love ya!

i know many people care for me. ya i know. dont nag me. i dont show doesnt mean i dont know. u dont show doesnt mean u dont care.



Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Ryoko is sick. Mark brought to the vet. should be ok now. haiz.

this is a nasty post by nasty me. is your choice to read it. dont scold me after reading. and i told u i m nasty,for sooooo many times.

ridiculous people coming to ask me things again. questions like 'are u happy?', ' why must study ah?', 'why must work leh?', 'u study so much happy meh?'. anyone can answer for me? i know i will start to nag at people if i were to answer all these. it is so weird for people to look for u specially just to tell u that they are attached. i mean i can accept people telling me that if they only want good wishes from me. but... er... dont need to show off to me. because i dont think i m affected if u got yourself a new girl. u tend to say to your ex 'because of u,i m not able to fall in love again'. aiya if this is true,u wont look for your ex just to tell her this right?u are just trying to make her feel bad. and ya. dont describe your gf or bf as 'goods'. not for delivery. i m not interested in hearing those stories. i dont mind if u say that i m nasty. but u got to see what i got from all these people.
3 years ago and now,it is a different thing.

ask me how a guy attracts a girl. and u want to learn. there's nothing to learn. is about feeling. and for the future,it is about the way u think or plan things.

my future bf is not 'goods' for delivery. please remember that.



Monday, March 27, 2006

not feeling good tis few days. people telling me how good it is in university. and how great he is. oh please. dont compare with me. i dont use money to pass my A level. and yes i PASS my A level. i dont need to use MONEY to buy a cert. and haha. still dare to compare with me. i admit that my results are not that fantastic. but at least better than u! irritating pest. know why i used to scold most guys jerks? because they are always so proud and selfish. see what is this? showing off. and it is always guys who do such things to me. and it is always guys who make me unhappy. ya i m biased. sorry to guys who are reading this.

i m jobless now. not that i dont like the job. but want to concentrate. er i m repeating this for so many times. i m so tired now. !

i m moody now. ryoko is sick and i m so tired. i got no time no money to bring her to the vet. and haiz i dont want to depend on others. dont like people to ask me so much,cos i dont want them to help me. argh. dont comment on what i typed here. especially from unrelated jerks. i m sorry but i got to emphasis on this.



Thursday, March 23, 2006

i want to face everything alone. solve everything alone.

3 pathetic drawings in my sketch book. aiming to draw 10 pictures by the end of March.

i m not in a good mood today. first is because of work. racism and office politics. shouldnt have take it so seriously. but cant help thinking. just feel so tired of it.

when i m not in good mood,please dont joke with me. is either i cant get it or it will make me feel worse. i m just so tired mentally. the more people ask me about something,the more i feel stressed. i dont know what is happening to me. the more others want to help me,the more i hate it. i still cant find the real reason behind this. when will things be like last time? when will i be normal again? maybe got to wait till i get the answer.

haiz i m just tired. dont joke with me.



Tuesday, March 21, 2006

da bian! there is faculty test on 8th of april. haiz. i hate the wors "test". i m going to vomit again cos of stress. and today is the 21st march already. and there's only 2 pathetic drawing in my sketch book. oh my.i m going to die soon. last sunday,was deciding which courses to take with my dearest cis. she is so lost now. dunno if should encourage me to work for the art course,or curse me not to get in. (besides the 1st choice which is the art thingy,my other choices are the sameas hers). if i cant make it,i will be in the same course as her. so there's nothing to be upset about if i cant get into this art course. cis is such a good friend. dont want her to be alone also. oops then how about trans? heh i dont know.

i m going to be jobless soon. and i m super happy about it. no more work for me. i know i m a lazy bum. but i realise that i didnt make good use of this long holiday. there's so many places that i haven got the chance to go yet. didnt really enjoy much in this holiday. got my A lvl results,applied for courses. not much things left to be done ba i think. should enjoy my life now.

jurong boonlay woodlands cityhall orchard sentosa...aiya i wanna go everywhere la.

Monday, March 20, 2006

telepathy. communication between minds other than by the senses.

went to yanping's hse today,to register for courses. waste our time there. saw jiemin online and chat with her. gossips. and lots of funny things. she is enjoying herself in new zealand. n she misss us,of cos. went to jiemin's house after that. visit the cutie pugster! she is sooooooooo cute! :D and we took her out for a walk! she is so excited. made a photo frame for him,and so qiao,he developed those pics that we took that day. and the photos can be fit in soooo nicely into the frame. size is just nice. he know what i m thinking. coincidence?

unhappy with the staridol results. i dont like the sissy guy! so biased. yuck!



Saturday, March 18, 2006

know what,cis is so sweet!! read her blog,she mention some things about the both of us. think many people thought that we are lesbian. reason might be because they are dirty minded,or they dont have such good friends before. i always smile when i receive her sms. she is so encouraging and cute. sometimes really feel scared when we think of our future. what will happen when we are taking different courses? will our friendship change?i wont change,hope that they wont too. although i can feel that some are drifting apart. haiz. life is like that.

went sentosa yesterday. went there at about 6pm. most of the things there change. especially my favourite place. they feel that it is a change for the better,but i just dont like it. but yesterday is the 1st time staying there till so late. because i was with mark.walk the whole of sentosa? haha.

when i m planning to take a step forward,a voice will come to me and tell me to step backward.



Wednesday, March 15, 2006

it is so hard to draw anything when u are not in the mood. i m working for half a day now,so that i can have more time to do my rubbish. so tired.

look at how selfish are they. and never will they reflect on themselves. the worst thing is that they thought that they are always right. vent anger on anything that they can find. please.look at urself. i dont understand what is going on in these people's mind.

why do people say "i love u" so easily. simple 3 words,but with a very deep meaning. it includes responsibility and trust,not only what some people called love. when i say the 3 words,it MUST be very true. i wont say that to anyone. of cos.

what is love? huh?

guess what.i m still thinking about all those stupid things that the 'kids' did. even in my dreams,i saw them laughing again.i want to let them know,all naive they are. and how stupid for me to be affected by their childish acts. dont think that i will face them again,and i hope not to. must control my mind.

fren's fren fall for another guy when she is already attached. is not her fault may be. but heard that all this will happen in university when u go for camp or whatever things. should say that this type of things happen everywhere anytime. BGR is a irritating problem,because it will change unexpectedly. take the risk? will die of heart attack. hah. what i've just said are rubbish. erm ya time will prove everything.

"xian jian qi xia zuan" is nice. but i just dont like ling er. not to the extent that i hate her,but i just dont like such perfect person. Yueru is so much cuter. at least she is more like a real girl. so pretty so cute so caring. if i were xiao yao,i will choose her. :D



Monday, March 13, 2006

heard that only 20% of applicants will get into the course. know that everyone will tell me not to give up hope. got no confidence now. it has been so long since i took a pencil to sketch something out. and i dont think DMSS will keep my sketch book. is not about anything else,but is problem with myself. imagine how much stress i gave myself last year when i m taking A level. it is the same now. BUT I WONT GIVE UP,I WILL TRY MY BEST. WAHAHAHAHAHA.

class gathering. 7 out of 25 went. so tired now. my mind keep thinking about the course.nothing else. tomorrow got to go popular to buy some stuff. haiz. money issue again.

found my long lost cat! ryoko! brought food for her today. she is still so cute. can feel a connection. :D



Saturday, March 11, 2006

Clarke Quay!!!!!

my favourite place around chinatown

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

J took 2 days leave. too stressed up. and she fell sick after getting too much pressure from L. for me,bad thing is that i got to do all her work,which is all those things that i dont really know. good thing is,i can use her com and do my own data entry. funny company right? hire a temp admin assistant but no com for her to use. i always thought that i m purely an admin staff there, but where is my com?!

going NTU open house this saturday. can feel that i m taking a big step towards my dream! yeah i wanna study in NTU! :D





Friday, March 03, 2006

i woke up at 3.45am this morning. vomitted and diarrhoea. was planning to have fun today. but..haiz... nearly got sent to hospital. so painful. haiz.... damn unlucky. feeling better now,but i still cant eat much. sob. feel that i've wasted the whole day. though it will be fun. haiz.

went out today,very giddy but ya is still fun. today is an exchange present day. gave him the cross stitch and he gave me 2 keychains in return. and ya i told him most guys are jerks. hahaha. most not every la.