Tuesday, August 08, 2006

this is a messy entry. my mind is in a big mess............

today was another exciting day. as usual we got lost in school. cant find the building. had 2D design lesson today. boring! because we did nothing but introduce ourselves,talk a alot. and somehow,the lecture was boring too. nearly fell asleep. went to CCA exhibition. the only thing that attracts me was the lion dance booth. haha i dont know why. after that when i was about to leave the exhibition venue,i saw john! haha.

今天真的是灰灰灰。一年前发生的时，本来该忘记了。可是偏偏有人又来勾起那些回忆。不能否认我还是会想，失落还是真的快乐？

she came to talk to me. at first about things in university. then...she start to ask if i still resent her. i answer her nope. it is not her. but the whole thing. what happen that time was the factor,not her. i believe that there's no right or wrong in relationship. no point blaming anyone. i learnt alot from it. the most important now,is to accept the fact,move on,be happy. she told me that she is happy now. maybe i should say they are happy now. i m too actually. i dont know why,but i like her as my friend. i dont get to see what my isomers see. but well,it is always better to see someone's positive points rather than flaws.

people change. i admit that i change a alot. from a happy person to a ridicously hostile person and again to the new me now. it is for others to judge. although i think i m happy with i have now. doesnt mean others will like me. today i said sorry to someone who i hurt. i remember that was the time when i got so fed up with things and haha i m damn nasty. i feel guilty when i think of it. he did nothing wrong. it was me. i dont allow myself to regret anything. the only thing i can do now is to prevent making same mistakes.

i dont hate anyone now. even him. the only way to be happy,is to look at the positive angle and there's always more things to look forward to. anyway,i really want to tell them that i dont hate them. 看透了就没事了。放手才是最好的方法。

i dont know why,i just feel so tired today. no mood to check mailbox and everything. uni is so messy that sometimes i still feel like a lost kid. and i m so lazy to arrange my notes and whatever. not like me last time,i want everything to be neat and nice! it was only today that i realise i m a neat freak. haha. got to get so many things tomorrow. popular/art friend blah blah blah. eat my money. oh the lecturer said :"no money,dont be an art student". dont really get the real meaning behind it but how can he say that! and haiz the things given to us are so messy! i cant stand it. maps and everythin. i have 3 maps with me now. ntu is a big maze!
oh ya and the lecturer asked about what i want to major in. haha i dont know! my mind in really in a big mess. but film is interesting. :D imagine i m the director! wahaha! coolll.........................